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FATHERHOOD & HOOKERS

15 Dec

Fatherhood: If you kill that hooker you get your money back

Fatherhood - Kill Hooker & Get Your Money

Fatherhood - Kill Hooker & Get Your Money

A the quintessential moment in all of our youths when our paternal sperm source educates us on the true meaning of saving money. Most would say that nothing is more important than father-son bonding. We agree, particularly when it involves fathers, hookers, and money. What’s next, fatherly lessons on blow?

Top Web Sites For Demotivational Posters (or unmotivational posters)

13 Dec

Here are some great little sites that display some of the finest works of demotivational “art”. We don’t really have time to post as much as some of these guys, so we’re happy to share some love. Enjoy ! We may add some more or less.. who knows

Demotivational Snow!

13 Dec

We added some festive flakes to the site. You better love it.

Demotivational Shirts = Despairwear™

14 May

Demotivational Shirts by Despairwear

Demotivational Shirts by Despairwear™

As if browsing the internet looking for inane images and sayings photoshopped onto posters wasn’t a big enough waste of time, leave it to Despair, Inc to come up with a way to bring that sadness to the real world…

Enter Despairwear™: the new demotivational shirt line based on Despair, Inc’s Demotivator® series of demotivational posters. You’ll find the classic Despair posters in shirt form, and some novel new concepts along the way.

Why demotivational shirts?

We at demotivationalposters1.com really aren’t sure why anyone would want to share this type of sadness with the real world, but it probably has something to do with that old saying: “Misery Loves Company”.

Well, Despair, Inc has taken full advantage of this terrible facet of human nature and developed an entire clothing line designed to spread the sadness.

Seriously though: if you’re a fan of companies like Busted Tees, Snorg Tees, Defunker, or Tshirt Hell, you’ll probably LOVE this shirt line.. they are hilarious. tshirtdaily.com has some funny tshirts like these as well.

If you’re truly a sick puppy, then feel free to check out all of the demotivational shirts here . Enjoy :/

Why is the site Pink?

13 May

It’s because we are trying out a new wordpress template… it looks cool otherwise, so leave us alone. Jerk.

MooseKnuckle : Because Camel Toe Has an Ugly Sister

13 May

MooseKnuckle Demotivational Poster

MooseKnuckle : Camel Toe's evil sister

Because camel toe has and ugly sister

In a bizarre twist of fate, a freak reunion between adopted siblings separated at birth has lead to the discovery of an advance form of camel toe. Scientists believe it is a form of elephantitis of the cameltoe, which results in a bulbous, overgrown growth formation in the labial regions of women.

Doctor Edmund Belving

Doctor Edmund Belving

Dr. Edmund Belving of The University of Maltreenus was the first to discover this new condition when studying an episode of Maury. The subject of investigation: LaShawndeena Johnson, who appeared on the show as a result of a DNA paternity test that resulted in her suspected rapist “not being the father”.

Dr. Belving’s discovery and documentation of the condition was made quickly upon seeing the subject, and he filed the name for the condition as “Moose Knuckle“, named after his favorite ice cream product from his youth.

Teams of researches are currently looking for a cure, but the disease is so rare that many believe the search to be a waste of time.

How To Make Your Own, DIY Demotivational Posters

20 Aug

despair-inc-logoSo you want to demotivate someone? You cruel,cruel bastard. But good for you… realizing your problems is the first step toward recovery from being an asshole.

Well, now you can make your own crappy demotivational posters with Despairs DIY demotivator creator. I doubt yours are going to be anywhere near  as good as Despair, Inc’s posters ,But we’ve seen some good ones, so there is hope.

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Jailbait

19 Aug

The Jailbait Demotivational Poster

jailbait demotivational poster

jailbait demotivational poster

You keep getting older and they stay the same age

This is the classic Jail bait demotivational poster. Jailbait comes in many shapes and forms, but there is one constant that will always remain: they will always be too young for you to fornicate with. No matter how old you get, these young ladies (also known as jailbait) will always be below the legal age of consent.

Don’t dip your stick into this batter.. you might get burned by the long arm of the law. In fact, you should probably delete your browser history now, the feds are watching you!

jailbait, jail bait, demotivational, funny demotivational poster, young girls, you keep getting older they stay the same age

Demotivational Coffee Mugs

19 Aug

demotivational-demotivator-mugs

Despair, Inc is pushing boundaries of parody yet again by opening up their line of demotivational posters in the form of Demotivator coffee mugs.

These things come as 15 oz. mugs, with the classic demotivational sayings plastered right on them.

They include the classic Demotivators:

  • Worth : Just because you’re necessary doesn’t mean you’re important
  • Consulting: If you’re not part of the solution, there’s good money to be made in prolonging the problem.
  • Hope: May not be warranted at this point
  • Quality: The race for quality has no finish line, so technically, it’s more like a death march
  • Potential:  Not everyone gets to be an astronaut when they grow up
  • Government: If you think the problems we create are bad, wait until you see our solutions
  • and many more

Check them all out here


Customer Disservice :Because we’re not satisfied until you’re not satisfied

19 Aug


Because we’re not satisfied until you’re not satisfied

You know, it seems the best way to succeed these days as a large company is to screw your customers as much as possible. If you have a cell phone plan, internet service, cable tv, or any other modern convenience, you’ve more than likely dealt with customer disservice.

This is how big corporations think: “We can still make a shitlout of money while we piss off about 49% of our customers with terrible service, hidden fees, outsourced call centers, and generally terrible customer service”

We call it customer disservice, and we’re not going to feel like a good business until you’re not happy.

Get this one for a “friend