Demotivational Posters

You can do anything you set your mind to when you have vision,determination,and an endless supply of expendable labor

Its so true. You can do anything you want when you have unlimited resources. Achievement is directly proportional to the amount of free, unexaustable resources you are given (or take by force). Even an idiot with no experience or history of success can change the world if he has legions of mindlessly devoted followers… look at Obama (or Bush before him). The pyramids weren’t built by aliens.. they were build by millions of slaves under the control of one idiot who thought it would be a good idea. Your company is probably the same way.. one idiot using you and your coworkers as wage-slaves to build his stairway to heaven.

You want this one for a friend? Get a lithograph here

Yea there’s always one friend who has a few screws loose. He may be the one who leaves the coffee machine on when its empty, or it could be the girl that keeps picking her nose and eating her own boogers. Retards seem to be attracted to working where you do as well. .. most of the time they take the form of one of your superiors… and most of the time they think they know better.

Wikipedia defines a retard as  someone who has “a generalized disorder, characterized by subaverage cognitive functioning and deficits in two or more adaptive behaviors with onset before the age of 18″(source). We’ll take that definition and modify it:

“Anyone who has blatant disregard for common sense”

Retards… we all know one.

View some official Demotivational Posters here at Despair

http://www.twitter.com/demotivate1

prepare to be demotivated

A company that will go to the ends of the earth for its people will find it can hire them for about 10% of the cost of Americans

Did your friend just get laid off? Did your wife get her job outsourced? Well, it happens to the best of us. Make her feel great after losing all her benefits,career,seniority, and future prospects for a happy life by showing her the brighter side of the outsourcing! We’re SURE you’ll get tears of joy when giving this gift, or we’ll buy you a free subscription to I Love Cats magazine.

You can get this outsourcing demotivational poster somewhere, but we forgot… good luck finding it.

p.s., this is an official Despair Demotivator®

Where is your God now?

It was written somewhere, a long tiempo (that’s Spanish for “time”, hombre) ago, that Floating Rifles signify the end of days. Be weary in these troubling times, as floating rifles do exist and are among us now! An army who possesses the powers of rifle floating shall conquer the world. Well, at least that’s what the guy that lives in the alley out back keeps telling me…

Float your rifles today.

$17

Now THAT’s Gangsta

What’s more gangsta than flashing your cash in front of your digital camera and posting it on your myspace? Apparently, not much. This guy is ballin so hard, he doesn’t need more than 17 bones to flaunt his alpha male status. All the bitches will be all over this dude when they see him with all that quan.

You know what $17 could get him? One of these

Bird Spikes? what are those?

SUICIDE

What are you waiting for, you fucking pansy?

When someone needs that extra push over the edge, be sure to let them know how you feel with this demotivational poster. 

Friend feeling blue? Did the love of his life just leave him? Has he promised you his iPod + collection of 7,500 mp3s if “anything happens” to him? Well, here’s your chance to jump on the opportunity and ensure that the iPod & 4 years worth of crappy music is all yours: just tell him how much nobody cares with one of the most heartless demotivational posters we have found.
Browse  similar demotivators here.

COMPROMISE

Let’s Agree To Each Other’s Views No Matter How Wrong You Are

Official Despair Demotivators ®

You’re wrong, I’m right. The key to any bullshitter’s success is his ability to let his competitor or superior feel like he is right. In the case of your superior, he’s most likely wrong. He’s also most likely and idiot. He could be a she as well, but that’s not usually the case in the good ol’ boys’ world of corporate cheauvanism.

Compromise your integrity here

UNIQUE

Just because you are unique does not mean you are useful

One of the Despair Demotivators ®

You’re uniqueness has nothing to do with how attractive you are, how well you do your job, or how much of an asshole you are to your family. In fact, its quite the opposite: your usefullness is probably directly related to how well you fit into the corporate machine. The more you fit in, the more money you’ll make for the man.

Click here to celebrate your uniqueness

Parents:

They’re for Sniffing and Holding Your Cock

Transcribed:
When I was 14 I had my gf at my house and we were making out in my room, we couldn’t fuck because my mom kept walking around the house and i had to leave the door open. So we decide to go swimming in the creek behind my house. We’re in the water and I’ve been nailing her for like 2 minutes and I feel something weird on my nuts. I feel my balls and jump off her and there is a leach clinged on my ball sack. Neither one of us knew how to get it off, so we go back to the house and I have to pull out my nuts and let my parents put salt on my balls and remove this fucking leach. As they’re removing the leech and my balls are bleeding from the thing sucking my blood, my dad brings up the fact that my cock is greasy and my mom sniffs my cock and says yes he had a rubber on and then have a nice sex talk with me and the gf. This was a little awkward.

Umm this is amazing. no words can describe this demotivational poster.